highways of DOOM

JAISALMER TO JODPHUR - 23rd October 2011

Seeing as Jodhpur serves as a central hub from which you can reach the NW cities in Rajasthan (Jaisalmer and Bikaner) the plan today has me making an overnight stop before heading further down south to Udaipur. Sat in the car about 200km from Jodhpur I thought I may use this time to talk a little about the Indian motorways and driving in general as it a topic well worthy of a mention. For Indians life on the motorways is very similar to one long and never ending race where the constant goal is to overtake any vehicle which dares get in your way. Its not unusual to see tractors attempting to overtake cars and lorries taking up both lanes on the road, meaning that oncoming traffic has to create a third lane in the dust embankment to the side. Babu (my driver) gladly told me that thousands die every year which I appreciated but that it would all be OK as he is the "boss of driving department". Babu's limited use of English means that when he describes things to me he places everything into departments. We went to see this monkey temple in Galta and so with Babu it was going to to see the "monkey department". Another example was whilst stopping by this mosque in Delhi (Jama Masjid) he told me that my shorts were in the wrong department and that I needed the trouser department to cover my bare knees so as to be respectful. Anyway, I digress, I support Babu's claim of having superior driving as I feel safe most of the time. Signs dot the highway, as they do in England, warning drivers to slow down so as to reduce risk of incovenient death. My favourite sign however has to be, "At first speed thrills but then it kills. Stop it now!"

Roadkill are numerous with many different animals meeting their maker on these concrete highways of death. The only animal which is spared such a gruesome end is the  mightily powerful cow. These beasts travel wherever they please without hindrance and god knows what would happen to the poor man who runs into one. Hung at the gallows no doubt. Cows are literally everywhere in India, from the moment you wake up and leave your guesthouse there will be one just chilling in the street munching on some rubbish (which is plentiful). The arrogance these animals display is outstandingly visible and they have a look in their eyes as if to stay "Im the fucking boss here.Get out of my way!" The other evening whilst hopping out of the way of a speeding rikshaw, I jumped straight into the path of this mean old cow and promptly received a headbutt to the stomach so they like a scrap as well! I reckon if I'm ever born a cow in my second life, I'll be getting straight on the next flight to Delhi! In regards to cows on the motorway you'll regularly see them walking in the middle of the dual carriageway or sometimes literally just plonked down in the middle of one of the lanes. Drivers politely slow down and carefully drive round them.  To my amusement I recently saw a convoy of army trucks politely wait whilst a cow made his way across the motorway. Like I said before India is mental.

The use of horns is rampant with large lorries displaying signs on their rear bumpers requesting approaching motorists to "BLOW HORN" in bright vivid clours. Drivers therefore indulge in beeping their horn at every opportunity, which most of the time seems completely unnecessary but as so much overtaking takes place I guess it goes someway in preventing accidents. Thinking back to Cathedral square I can imagine the DL claims department having a heart attack out here.... Babu, like I said before, has bought several cd's to showcase some of his favorite Inidan Music. Now and again he'll burst into song and getting his "boogie boogie" on (as he likes to call it). The cabin of the car is filled with his singing at regular intervals whilst he does the classic India shoulder pop waving his arms manically around the wheel and out of the window. Passing by certain temples, he also slows down and does a little prayer, all I can say is that I hope he's praying for a safe journey in this death trap!

Spent the evening in Yogi's (remembered from when I was in Jodhpur a few days ago) with Lilly,Julien and Letty. Earlier on whilst tucking into another snack courtesy of the omelette man I got chatting to this Irish couple, Niall and Amy. We found that we had both suffered the intensity of Delhi and they had also been rushed into booking a driver to escort them around Rajasthan. I've met several people now who arrive in Delhi and are preyed upon by hunting tour touts and it seems rampant as naive frightened tourists are a lucrative business opportunity! Still what is done is done so I won't moan about it on here.Niall and Amy are doing a similar trip to mine spending 11 months travelling around the world ending in South America and so I suggested they join us for dinner later at Yogi's for dinner. At the end of the night a photographer from the local newspaper arrived on the rooftop to take some photos of tourists getting excited for Diwali which is now only a few days away. From what i gather, Diwali is pretty much the Indian christmas, so aload of fireworks were set off and the journalist took some photos of us holding these sparklers which was random but random seems to be the order of the day everyday here.The plan as of this moment has me heading to Udaipur tomorrow making a stop off in Ranakpur to see a temple which was built in remembrance of Mahavira, the founder if Jainism, who achieved Nirvana at the age of 72. So guess that'll be alright.

Later,

x

Babu.

Riding the rick shaw.

The view from my expensive personal car.